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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26809087">sore loser</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/airnomadenthusiast/pseuds/airnomadenthusiast'>airnomadenthusiast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>suki n toph [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, background Sukka - Freeform, listen toph just needs more friends ok, sometimes you have to fight people to become friends that's just how it is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 12:01:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26809087</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/airnomadenthusiast/pseuds/airnomadenthusiast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Toph was close enough to sense her shaky breath, the way she was holding herself to hold it together even if she didn't want to. "I don't know. I guess I just thought we could be friends." </p><p>Or, Toph just wants Suki to leave her alone, but she won't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toph Beifong &amp; Suki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>suki n toph [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sore loser</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>listen toph should have all the friends ok?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everybody thought Toph was jealous of Suki because she had a crush on Sokka. <em> Not true. </em> She thought she might have, around the time that she’d first met Suki, because he was tall and handsome and competent from time to time, and because he was exactly the kind of guy her parents would <em> hate </em>for her to marry. But she just couldn’t find it in her heart to actually be attracted to him. She could feel the way Suki’s heartbeat sped up whenever he was around, and that—that wasn’t Toph at all.</p><p>No, the reason Toph was jealous of Suki was because Suki was spectacular without even trying. Sokka and Zuko had regaled them with stories of how she’d defeated the warden in ten seconds flat, and then Sokka had gone on to tell the story of how Suki saved Appa (“You weren’t even there for that,” Suki had said) And then Sokka had told the story of how they’d met, how Sokka was a sexist asshole and Suki had beaten him up for it. So Suki was a great fighter, smart, quick on her feet, and if Sokka’s mooning was anything to go by, drop dead gorgeous. She wasn’t like Katara, meddling in other people’s business when she really shouldn’t, or Zuko, who was an awkward mess, or Sokka, who made bad jokes, or Aang, who was too sensitive for his own good. She wasn’t like Toph, arrogant and insecure at the same time. No, Suki was brilliant, beautiful, infinitely kind and yet still firm, good with animals, good with kids, in love with Sokka in exactly the right way. The list went on and on. She was… well, she was perfect. And Toph hated her for it. </p><p>They were camping out in the Fire Nation, waiting for Zuko and Katara to return from avenging Katara’s mother (hoping that they would). Sokka and Suki had taken a break to comfort Aang, who was going out of his mind with worry. Toph crossed her arms and let them be. </p><p>She wanted to fight something, but there was nothing to fight. So she went into an open field and punched rocks at nothing, hoping it would make her feel better. It didn’t. </p><p>“Hey, kiddo!” someone shouted. Toph glowered. </p><p>“I’m not anybody’s kiddo,” she said, stomping the earth at her feet and feeling it ripple. The weight of the person’s footsteps were just familiar enough that she knew who it was. “What do you want, Suki?” </p><p>“Just want to see how you’re holding up,” Suki said. “It’s been a weird couple of days around here, hasn’t it?” </p><p>Toph crossed her arms. “It’s always weird,” she said. “Get used to it.”</p><p>She hoped that that would make Suki leave, but of course, she didn’t. “So, what’re you doing?” Suki asked. </p><p>Toph scowled. “Nothing.” </p><p>Suki laughed, and Toph scowled some more. “Doesn’t look like nothing.” </p><p>“Okay, fine, I’m Earthbending, are you happy now?” Toph said.</p><p>Suki hummed. “You’re pretty good at that, aren’t you?” </p><p>Spirits, if Suki would just <em> leave her alone </em>. “I’m the Avatar’s Earthbending master, aren’t I?”</p><p>Suki hummed some more. “Must get boring, not really having anybody to spar with. I mean, I know Aang’s an Earthbender now, but I’m guessing he’s not really as good at it as you are. I’m not a bender, but I do know what it feels like when all you want to do is punch someone as hard as you can, but nobody around you is really at your level.” </p><p>Huh. Maybe Suki was a little arrogant. </p><p>“What are you saying?” Toph asked. </p><p>Suki shifted her weight a little, into a fighting stance. “I’ve sparred with Earthbenders before. I could do it again, if you wanted.”</p><p>Toph frowned. “When did you spar with Earthbenders?” </p><p>Suki shrugged. “One of the Kyoshi Warriors is a bender. And my mother was one too. Your seismic sense though… I’ve never sparred with someone who can do that.” </p><p>Toph smirked. “All right, I’ll bite.” </p><p>They’d taken Suki’s fans when she got to Boiling Rock, so she was sparring only with her fists. Toph decided she’d go easy on her. She shifted her weight and moved her foot, Earthbending to knock Suki off balance. But Suki was way lighter on her feet than most other people Toph had fought with, and she adapted to Toph’s strategy quickly, dancing around the ground that Toph tried to shift beneath her feet, dodging every blow that Toph threw her way. </p><p>Toph gritted her teeth. Maybe going easy on Suki was a mistake. </p><p>Toph threw up a big wall of rock, but by the time it reached Suki, she was already out of the way. She was quick, quicker than Toph, but Toph had the advantage of brute force on her side. </p><p>Toph dangled a boulder over Suki’s head, but Suki sidestepped, getting closer to Toph and knocking her off her feet. </p><p>Suki fought a little like Twinkle Toes, avoiding and sidestepping rather than facing Toph head on. But unlike Aang, she managed to get in hits every now and again, knocking the wind out of Toph. She didn’t understand how Suki did it, move quicker than her seismic sense could register, counter every act of force so that it ended up coming back on Toph. </p><p>Suki spun around, one leg in the air, kicking Toph straight in the chest. Toph stumbled. </p><p>“Having fun yet?” Suki yelled. </p><p>Toph growled and slammed a rock into Suki’s chest. Suki fell, but she did it lightly, almost none of her weight falling onto the earth, and rolled straight back up to get a hit at Toph. Toph tried to hit back, but Suki gracefully, casually even, blocked her strike and sent her flying. Toph’s back hit the ground with a thud, and she groaned. </p><p>“Wow, that was awesome,” Suki said. “We should spar more often, huh?” </p><p>Toph spat at the ground. “No, we shouldn’t.” She crossed her arms and turned away from Suki, hoping that this time she would just leave Toph in peace. </p><p>But of course, Suki didn’t. “What, you’re a sore loser?” </p><p>“No,” Toph said bitterly, trying to forget all the times she’d scowled and spat at other Earthbenders at Earth Rumble, back when she was just starting out and getting her ass handed to her at every fight. The worst part was that Suki wasn’t even like them, grinning ear to ear at the fact that they’d just beaten a blind child in the ring. Suki didn’t seem to care that she’d won at all. </p><p>She sat down next to Toph. “Hey, can I ask you something?” she asked. </p><p>Toph turned away from her. “If I answer, will you leave me alone?” </p><p>Suki went quiet for a moment. “I’ll consider it.” </p><p>Toph’s jaw clenched. “Fine, go ahead.” </p><p>“Why do you hate me?” </p><p>Toph laughed. “Oh, Suki, how could I possibly hate you? Everybody loves you! You’re so perfect and amazing, I wish I could be just like you!” </p><p>Suki barked a laugh. “That bad, huh?” </p><p>“Why do you care?” </p><p>Toph was close enough to sense her shaky breath, the way that she was forcing herself to hold it together even if she didn’t want to. “I don’t know. I guess I just thought that we could be friends.” </p><p>Of course, Suki was so perfect that she could make Toph feel bad about hating her. </p><p>“It’s just that—it’s just that you’re so good at everything, and everybody likes you, and—”</p><p>Toph stopped in her tracks when she heard Suki laughing. “What? This is just a joke to you?” </p><p>“No, no, oh Spirits, Toph, it’s not that,” Suki said, still laughing. “It’s just funny to hear you say that.” </p><p>Toph frowned. “What, people don’t tell you how much they adore you to your face?” </p><p>“People tend not to like me,” Suki said, like it was simply a fact, no hint of anger in her voice. “I know Sokka made our first meeting seem sweet because he’s good like that, but, you know. I can be pretty… tough when I want to be. People feel threatened.” </p><p>Toph slunk down even further. “So what, you’re saying you have it hard because the only people who don’t like you are afraid of you?” </p><p>Suki leaned back on the grass. “I mean, yes, that is what I’m saying. But I’m sure you know that people try to hide how afraid of you they really are. People used to talk behind my back when they thought I couldn’t hear. Said my mother was a disgrace for raising me, let alone for letting me join the Warriors.” </p><p>Cautiously, Toph turned back towards Suki. Just because she was curious. “What did they mean?” </p><p>Suki sighed. “Well, my mom was married to another man when she had an affair with my father. And he was a pirate.” </p><p>“That’s cool,” Toph said. She hadn’t been with Aang, Sokka, and Katara when they’d run into pirates, and they really didn’t seem to like the ones they’d met, but she didn’t care. To her, being a pirate sounded awesome. </p><p>Suki didn’t seem to agree. “He stole from our people,” she said. “Mom didn’t care. She left her husband for him, and then right when I was born, he left us. Every time I did something well, every time I beat somebody in a fight, people said that it was because I had that man’s vicious blood in me. People were so angry when I started leading the Warriors, because they were afraid that I would corrupt them.” </p><p>Toph drew her knees to her chest. “But you didn’t. So what’s the problem?” </p><p>“I did, though.” Suki laughed again, but there was an edge to it. “When I let Sokka participate in our traditions, even though he’s Water Tribe and a boy. Kyoshi obviously didn’t care what kind of women her warriors were, so long as they claimed womanhood in a way that was fit for them, but he’s the first boy who’s ever participated. She would be so upset.” </p><p>Toph could feel Suki’s fingers gripping the grass. She cleared her throat. “Kyoshi is Aang’s past life, right?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Suki said. “She was the last Earth Avatar.” </p><p>“And you kept running into Aang and Sokka and Katara, right? They came to Kyoshi Island, and then you found each other again at the Serpent’s Pass, and then again at Boiling Rock. What are the odds of that?” </p><p>Suki’s grip on the grass got a little looser. “Not that big, I guess.” </p><p>Toph sat up. “I think—I think maybe Kyoshi’s looking out for us. She keeps bringing us back to you. She wants you to help us.” </p><p>Suki elbowed Toph affectionately. “You know, Toph, you better not let the others know that you can be this nice.” </p><p>Toph nodded. “This stays between us. Pinky promise?” </p><p>If Aang were here, she wouldn’t have done this, because pinky promises were stupid and childish and he didn’t need to know that she still used them too. But Suki had offered Toph her whole life. What was another secret to her?</p><p>Suki gripped Toph’s pinky with her own. “You got it.”</p><p>____________________ </p><p>“When did you start learning to fight?” Toph asked. </p><p>Zuko and Katara still weren’t back, so Suki was taking over dinner. She’d already made some mixed vegetables, which Aang was eating gleefully while talking to Sokka about this dream he’d had about Momo as a Firebender. Meanwhile, Sokka was eating his third bowl of Suki’s soup, filled to the brim with cured meats, and he seemed to be paying more attention to that than whatever Aang was saying. </p><p>Suki stirred the pot thoughtfully. “I must have been two or three, I think. I barely remember.” </p><p>“I was five,” Toph said. “My parents weren’t letting my Earthbending teacher do anything above the basics, so when they weren’t looking, I ran away. Found a cave, met the badger moles, and the rest is history.” </p><p>Suki frowned. “Why weren’t your parents letting your Earthbending master teach you properly?” she asked. </p><p>Toph shrugged. “They didn’t want their little blind daughter taking on more than she could handle.” </p><p>Suki scoffed. “That would never fly on Kyoshi Island. Everybody learned to fight as much as they were able. We had to. Between the pirates and the Fire Nation, we never would have survived.” </p><p>Toph bristled a little at that. “Guess I’m lucky that I didn’t need to know how to survive.” </p><p>Suki didn’t seem to catch the sarcasm in her voice. “I’m grateful, of course, to Kyoshi and to our elders. And I love martial arts, you know that. But sometimes—sometimes I wonder what else I could be doing with my life. If I had other choices.” </p><p>She ladled some soup into Toph’s bowl. It smelled good. Not like what Toph would eat at home, no, this was fresh and earthy and full of love. The work of someone who cared. </p><p>“What would you do?” Toph said. </p><p>Suki stopped ladling with a start. “It doesn’t matter. We’re in the middle of a war.” </p><p>Toph kept gobbling up her soup, speaking between bites. “Well, Twinkle Toes—” <em> slurp </em> “—is gonna end the war—” <em> slurp </em> “—soon—” (what <em> was </em> that? Toph had no idea, but it was meaty and she <em> loved it </em>) “—and then you can do whatever you want!” </p><p>Suki giggled. “I’m guessing you like the soup?” </p><p>“You should be a chef after the war,” Toph said, gleefully holding out her bowl for seconds. </p><p>“It’s a Kyoshi staple,” Suki said. “I make it all the time back home.” She ladled out some more of it for Toph before putting some in her own bowl. “Toph, I really don’t think it matters what I want. Even if Aang manages to end the war, I have to be in Kyoshi Island. We don’t know who’ll take over the Fire Nation, and I have to protect my people.” </p><p>“Oh, come on, there’s no harm in saying what you would do,” Toph said. “Even if you don’t end up doing it.” </p><p>Suki sat down, and from what Toph could hear, gobbled up the soup just as quickly as she had. “Do you want some more?” Suki asked. </p><p>Toph frowned. “I’ve already had two bowls. Sokka’s had three. You’ve barely had half of one. And you made Aang his own meal and let him have all of it.” </p><p>“I don’t need that much,” Suki said brightly. “Besides, it just makes me happy to see you both happy when you’re eating it.” </p><p>“But you need to eat too,” Toph said. </p><p>“I did!” Suki said, holding up her half full bowl. Toph crossed her arms. </p><p>“Finish it,” she said. “And get another one.” </p><p>Suki groaned. “Okay, Mom.” </p><p>Toph stuck out her tongue, and Suki laughed, finishing off her soup. </p><p>“I guess,” she said. “If the Warriors didn’t need me, and nobody else needed me, and there wasn’t any sign of anyone possibly needing me at any point—” </p><p>“Get to the point, Suki.” </p><p>“Okay, okay, I—well…ugh, this is so embarrassing.” Suki took a deep breath. “So obviously, we have a lot of Avatar Kyoshi’s belongings, and we have writing about her, and you know, obviously people have written biographies of Avatar Kyoshi before, <em> she’s Avatar Kyoshi </em>, but there’s never been one from someone who actually lives on Kyoshi Island, who lives the life she wanted us to live. And the other biographies, they leave out a lot, you know? Like the era of Avatar Yun, her escape from her childhood home, her wife—” </p><p>“Avatar Kyoshi had a wife?” Toph asked. </p><p>Suki giggled. “Yeah, she was Kyoshi’s Firebending master. Her name was Rangi.” </p><p>Toph felt her cheeks going red. “I… I didn’t know you could do that.” </p><p>Suki touched Toph’s shoulder, rubbing it gently. “People do, you know. All the time. At least on Kyoshi Island, I don’t know about the rest of the world. I know Zuko mentioned something about it being… difficult, for people like us in the Fire Nation.” </p><p>Toph scrunched up her nose. “What do you mean, ‘us’?”</p><p>Suki’s hand stopped. “Oh Spirits, Toph, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume, I just thought—” </p><p>“No, I know—I know I’m like that,” Toph said in a small voice. “But you’re with Sokka.” </p><p>“Oh,” Suki said. “Well, you know, everybody’s different. I can be attracted to anybody of any gender. I mean, honestly, Sokka—I think Sokka’s it for me,” she said, and Toph could feel her heart speeding up. “But that doesn’t mean that my relationships with other people didn’t matter, or that my identity doesn’t matter because I’m with him. That’s always going to be a part of me no matter who I end up with.” </p><p>“Oh.” Toph turned away from Suki a little. “I’m sorry.” </p><p>“No, no, don’t be,” Suki said. “You didn’t know. And anyway, we were talking about what I would do, in a perfect world where I could do whatever I wanted, which doesn’t exist, but—” </p><p>“But you’re still allowed to think about it,” Toph said firmly. “So you would write a biography of Avatar Kyoshi?” </p><p>Suki hummed, ladling herself another bowl of soup. “Yeah, I think I would,” Suki said. “She deserves for people to know her as she really was. As a human being.” </p><p>Toph smiled. “That’s a really good dream, Suki.” </p><p>Suki elbowed her, and Toph elbowed back. “Thanks.” </p><p>________________________</p><p>When Zuko and Katara get back, after they’ve told everyone about what happened with Yon Rha, everybody turns to Sokka for the after dinner story, but Toph cuts him short. </p><p>“Suki, tell us a story about Avatar Kyoshi!” </p><p>Toph could feel Suki beaming, even from across the campfire. “Are you sure? I don’t want to bore anyone.” </p><p>“Are you kidding? How could you tell a boring story about Avatar Kyoshi? She’s the coolest Avatar ever—besides Aang, of course.” </p><p>Toph laughed. “Sokka, I know you’re lying.” </p><p>“We all know you’re lying,” Katara said, trying and failing to hide the mirth in her voice.</p><p>“Relax, everybody, it’s okay if you think Kyoshi’s cooler than me,” Aang said. “Besides, Suki’s great at telling stories.” </p><p>“Are you sure?” Suki said. </p><p>Toph groaned. “Yes, Suki, we’re all sure, please, we want to hear it!” </p><p>Toph could feel Suki’s shaky breaths, the way her heart was pounding. And she felt Sokka grabbing her hand and rubbing it gently. </p><p>Suki took a deep breath. “Okay, here’s the story of how Kyoshi found out she was the Avatar…” </p><p>____________________________</p><p>Toph was hanging by a thread. Well, by Sokka’s arm, but it may as well have been a thread. </p><p>Sokka’s sword had fallen into the depths below, Toph’s entire body was dangling over the edge of the ship, and she could hear Sokka struggling to keep her afloat. </p><p>They were going to die. </p><p>And then, all of a sudden, they weren’t. </p><p>Toph and Sokka fell and hit metal. Sokka groaned in pain from his leg, and Toph tried to orient herself on this metal airship. “What happened? Did boomerang come back?” </p><p>Sokka hissed, but then she felt his heart speed up, something only a certain Kyoshi Warrior could do to him. “No,” he said. “Suki did.” </p><p>Toph tried, hard, to feel Suki’s presence on the ship, to sense her, and for a moment, she couldn’t. But then, she felt Suki’s footsteps, light as a feather, dancing over to her and Sokka. </p><p>Suki was absolutely perfect. And Toph loved her for it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for reading! if you want to talk to me about toph, suki, or anything else about atla, reach out to me @nonbinary-crafter-aang on tumblr!</p><p>Also, consider donating to <a href="https://incite-national.org/"> INCITE!, an organization helping to end state and individual violence against women and gnc folks of color.</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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